I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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