no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize