I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
