and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
