Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
