It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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