omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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