i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
