No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
