You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize