Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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