so that wasnt chicken after all
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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