He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
