dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
