Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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