found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
