I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
