don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
