Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
