I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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