Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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