I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
