it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
