I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
where are you?
Hypothermia
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
