Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
