Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
