Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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