You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
