My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
