Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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