dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
