Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All the doctor said was why
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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