He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am one with the molecules
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
