My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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