i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
