things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
