This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i already hear my dad disowning me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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