My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
