There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize