Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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