You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
