idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize