What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
