Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize