"it" just moved
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
