I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
where does the pee come out of this thing
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
