Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
