She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize