i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize