apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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