Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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