yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
