i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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