Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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