Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
