Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
