Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
