I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
