you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
