it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
