afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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