all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
